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A post just to clear my mind and get stuff off my chest
I am posting a useless post, because I am having FEELINGS and I don't really know why I'm having them.

So recently I have been feeling pretty negatively about my World of Warcraft guild. It used to be social guild, but then the GM got bored of the game but hated handing over power to someone else so they could manage the guild, and drama got drama'd - mainly around the area of getting a team together to do current content raids - and then everyone got kicked out and a new guild was formed of all the old active members. And all was well.

I did get a fair bit of raiding dine then. We were a newly formed guild and just about enough members to make a full team, and we took down the first three raids with only a small amount of hassle. But then the raid leaders got really serious about doing progressions raids and they started recruiting for the really good players and benching current players for not being good enough. And I was one of those players. And they told me it was just my class, that melee classes just weren't as good in these fights as ranged were, and if I levelled my hunter I would be able to go raiding with them again. But then they replaced me (a rogue) with another rogue. So that was bullshit.

And they were such dicks about the people who weren't good enough to be in the main raiding team. One of the other players they replaces was a healer. They spoke so much shit about her behind her back, and one time to her face, about her ability to play. And if anyone called them on their elitism it was just whining and rage quitting, rather than a justified frustration about not being able to do anything.

Because that was what I really found annoying. Once they started progression raids all other raids stopped. So if you weren't good enough for the main team, tough luck. One attempt was made to start a second raiding team, but we never managed to get enough players in so then people got impatient and left for other guilds and we were back at the beginning.

But I stuck it out. I logged on most days around raiding time in case they had a spare spot. I signed up for every event they put in the calendar (which was rare, and I found I never got taken when they did actually go ahead). And weeks went without ever getting to do something with the people who - theoretically at least - are my social group. And then more weeks. I didn't have anything else to do in the game. I have already completed everything I could realistically accomplish solo.

Eventually last week I did get taken raiding. It was me and a new hunter in the group and we didn't progress through as quickly as we would have liked. The amount of passive aggressive ranting about how useless we were was not pleasant. The next day they were going to take someone else in my place, but don't worry, they were going to start alt runs soon, so I'd definitely get a place then!

Well. despite that I was pretty put off by the whole thing. Raiding is kind of all I have left to do, except for new quests when the next patch comes out (not thrilling) or legendary quests (frustrating because the quest items NEVER DROP ARGH!). Having spent the last couple of months believing I am just not good enough for proper raiding, I don't really want to go join a new strange guild because strange gamers tend to be dicks if you aren't good enough at the game. But I fond that I don't really want to raid with my own guild because it turns out the gamers I know are also dicks if you aren't good enough at the game.

So, today I just decided to cancel my subscription, at least until the next expansion release. I can't really afford it anyway. And I was feeling good about my decision. But when I logged into I made the mistake on clicking on my guild information and saw the guild message. Turns out that all the main team were changing server and faction and the current guild is being disbanded. And I don't really know why this upset me, because I had already made the decision that I didn't want to play with them any more anyway. The thing that sticks in my mind was the only time a faction change had been "discussed" was with a guild message saying that the guild would change faction, but only if the whole guild said yes. And I don't think it was actually discussed with the guild.

Because I am pretty sure that "the guild" only really meant "the main raiding team". And that has been the case since the new guild formed.
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