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Gran's here for Christmas as usual. Unfortunately her dementia has progressed to the point that she really has no idea what is going on. She fell asleep at the dinner table, I'm told, and was so completely disoriented when she woke up. She was really distressed. I think she told mum that she might wee on the floor. Mum and I will be up probably most of the night just keeping an ear out for Gran waking up downstairs. Also I think Gran will be going back a day earlier than planned as it seems to be too hard fr her to be away from her flat. Mums making noises too about getting a lot more care going in. Gran is pretty stubborn about it, but its really worrying to see her like this.

She always says she loves coming to us and that it's like a home away from home. And the care company that we get in for her are always telling my parents that they should get Gran out more often. But next year I think we go to her for a few hours than try to bring her here. Too much stress for everyone involved.

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Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. It must be stressful for her, not to be in her usual environment. I know my cousins have the same situation with their grandma, and they now invite her for dinner every Sunday so it's a routine (she doesn't really know whether it's been a week or a day or a month, but it still seems to help a bit.)

I hope you still had a nice Christmas Eve?

Today was better. Still a few moments of confusion, and my brother isn't helping with mums anxiety AT ALL but we've found that gran is much happier if we just leave her alone with a book and the cat, and just pop in every now and then to see how she's doing and top up her wine. Which sounds dreadful but is definitely better than the shouting and pacing that otherwise goes on.

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